Jupiter Ascending

Rated: PG-13

          I’d like to tell you about the recent Sci-Fi adventure flick Jupiter Ascending. I’ve found in doing these reviews over the years that fans of certain people, whether directors, actors or writers, think those people can do no wrong. That certainly seemed to be the case for the Wachowski siblings, Andy and Lana. They burst onto the Hollywood scene in 1999 with the cultural phenomenon that was The Matrix and its subsequent sequels. Riding high from that success, they then created V for Vendetta, which was also very well done. A few years later came Cloud Atlas, which received mixed reviews. I wasn’t reviewing quite yet, but if I had been, Cloud Atlas would’ve been filed under “don’t bother unless you need a long nap.”  And now they’ve created Jupiter Ascending. I wouldn’t say I had high hopes for it, but based on the previews it looked to be at least entertaining. I had no idea that it was written and directed by the makers of The Matrix at the time, and I’m glad I didn’t. It stemmed the tide of my disappointment for a while.
Jupiter Ascending is the story of Jupiter Jones, a young woman who’s always thought she was destined for great things, but is stuck in a rut as a housekeeper. It’s only when Caine, a bounty hunter, is sent by intergalactic royalty to track her down, that she realizes exactly what those great things are and who she really is.
        At this point in time I don’t think it would be too much to ask and hope for a few things. For starters, I wish that the film execs in Hollywood would be honest to the people who write scripts like this and tell them its all garbage and to fix it or there will be no movie made. On that note, I’d also like these writers and directors to realize that no amount of money, CGI, the finest actors the world has to offer and the like will make this garbage into a great movie, and the sooner they realize that, the better for all of us. Also, whoever told Mila Kunis she can act was obviously lying to make her feel better about herself. My hope is that now that she’s a mother she’ll be able to bring some genuine emotion to whatever she does next. And finally, we, the movie going public (myself included) need to stop paying good money to see things just because someone in particular wrote, directed or acted in it. If I’ve learned nothing else in doing these reviews it’s that just because there’s a certain name attached to something doesn’t guarantee that it’s good.
         I know all of that sounds a little harsh, and to an extent it is, but it’s just so frustrating to me to wait and wait for something decent to come out, spend the money and time to see it and have it turn out to be total crap. I’m aware that not every movie can be cinema gold, but at times, (as in the case of
Jupiter Ascending) it seems like they just aren’t trying anymore.

Jupiter Ascending is rated PG-13, was written and directed by the Wachowski siblings and stars Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean and Eddie Redmayne. It is now out on Blu Ray, DVD and digital download.